>:XX ohhhh dear. WARNING: not alot of this entry will make sense, i am typing without caring what i type! Ok before I get into this i should introduce myself.... my name's becky, I'm 13 going on 60, i feel like ive got the weight of the world on my shoulders. Which is stupid, because my life is fucking easy compared to others! I'm regularily classed still as an emo/ goth/ greebo/ grunger, but to be honest, I don't care anymore. It used to make me depressed, but ive got less important but more trivial things to do that for me now. Anyway, i can't decide who i love. Sorry, here we go... firstly, there's this kid name josh, who is great as i talk to him about everything. and i know from drunken experience he is a most excellent kisser. he's reall good looking, funny, good taste in music, caring.... i <3 him. BUT. so are do all my other friends! well, two of them, but theyre my two best friends. and he's going out with this total bitch called rozie, who probably isn't a bitch and a perfectly nice person, but the three of us who like josh HATEEEEE her. and moving onto mark. he is SOOOOOOO sexy, he juggles, i know from drunken experience he is a very good kisser and has very... talented hands lol! most of the time, he's funny, kind, caring... baically josh lol. but the other half of the time, he is an insensitive fuck- up who doesn't have regards for feelings and emotions, and is only interested in the female anatomy. Oh. AND he's french, and basically my dream guy!!! i have a soft spot for frenchies.... another thing i do is i impulsevily lie. i tell all my mates i go to all these gigs, i try various drink/ drugs, i've had sex.....:| it's confuzzling. for example, the last gig i went to apparently, i got off with four guys and a girl, and had sex in a portaloo with this totally hawt emo boy called leon. i decided to call him leon, as the day that i texted people to say what happened i had just finished watching leon the movie (if you haven't seen it you should watch it= the aweshumness). oh, and possibly the biggest lie i told was that i had a boyfriend named casper whom i went out with for about 6 months... totally made up of course.... well, not completely, there was a party i went to in the summer that i started telling people about him where there was in fact a kid named casper, who was VERY hot and VERY emo, but nothing happened with us. We just sat very drunk and watched the mighty boosh for hours ( again, if you haven't seen the mighty boosh, you HAVE to watch it... noel fielding is THE SHMEX!!!!). next random bitch! this person josh cuts himself, or he did until he met " ohhhhh rozue !!!!" which i thought was really... cool :S so i did it a couple of times at first, and now i fucking love it! especially when you bleed loads, and it trickles down your arm... the last one i did was a division of love/ hate on my forearm. i love it! one problem is though, to avoid being picked on at school i obviously cover them, and it's pretty hard to hisde everything withing a couple of inches of sweatband! so all my mates noticed, and reported me to the pastoral office, this crappy little office of about three women who stick their noses in EVERY SINGLE ISSUE going on in the school. So i got reported and taken out of an hour and a half of lessons, having to explain to this fat bitch why i was so depressed all of a sudden. she read some of the comments teachers had left her, there was shit like 'becky isn't her usual, bubbly self" etc. The SHE started banging on with all this crap like" now becky, your in a very dark tunnel at the moment, and i want you to get out of this tuunnel into the sunshine... do you think you can do that for ME becky?" no, i won't fucking do it for you, i met you 40 minutes ago. So, i then got reffered to a psychologist at some pncey- assed mental place, where im sat for an hour running through my week, with some pervert old guy staring at my cleavage. i don't care if he has a PHd, if he has a massive erection for the whole thing then im not interested! ooh, i gtg meet my mates now. they may be two faced bitches who report me to teachers evern when it is nobody's business, but i luffs them really! talk laters, hopefully with less stuff on my mind, lv bex x>:XX